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Burgers for Brexonomists

May 21, 2016

Brexonomics can be defined as the economic process whereby the least efficient and most expensive form of trade is to be preferred above any other.

If you live in Plymouth and you want a take-away burger on a Saturday evening, do you go to the MacDonalds in Plymouth or the one in Aberdeen? Brexonomists go to Aberdeen. Everyone else goes to the MacDonalds in Plymouth. The latter have popped down the road in the car, queued for a few minutes, driven home and eaten their grub while it's still hot. Then they've spent a relaxed evening curled up on the sofa watching a film and drinking a glass or two of wine. By the time they're tucked up in their cosy beds, the Brexonomists are just landing at Aberdeen airport...and they won't be home until Sunday evening. Cost of MacDonalds for Brexonomists = Burgers + return flights to Aberdeen, taxi fares, hotel for night and 24 hours of their time.

Why would the UK seek to buy something from half way round the globe when it can buy the same thing in the EU with no hassle and lower transport overheads? 

If you own a sweet shop in Winchester, to whom do you sell your sweets? The Brexonomist will sell his sweets to Mexico or Outer Mongolia. All other Winchester sweet shop owners will sell to the people of Winchester. They do this because the sweet eaters are there and it takes no effort to find them. And nor do they have to pay to transport the sweets to them. Or waste time. Or damage the environment with the pollution that is caused by transporting anything anywhere.

Why would the UK choose to sell to a country on another continent rather than the EU when the EU is on our doorstep and trading with it it is cheap and easy? 

The Brexonomists are finding it increasingly difficult to find any country that wants to trade with them. Most economists and most of the world keeps on telling the Brexonomists that trading with them would be difficult and expensive; they keep telling the Brexonomists that trading with the neighbours and keeping in with the neighbours if by far the most sensible and cost-effective route forward.

But the Brexonomists refuse to listen. Some of them are lying in bed with their heads buried under the pillows and their fingers in their ears. They are chanting blah blah blah very loudly to deafen out the voice of reason that is trying to talk sense into them. Other Brexonomists are lying in the bath with their heads under the water. They are blowing bubbles and hoping that the nasty big elephant will leave the room before their breath expires.

Perhaps they are just tired and bad tempered after that very long journey that resulted in a great big bill and a cold congealed burger.

 

 

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